WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republicans across the nation are scrambling to defend President George W. Bush after he ate a baby during a visit to the White House kitchen early last evening.
Eye witnesses report that the president left the White House residence at around 8:05 p.m. eastern time wearing what appeared to be a crudely stitched “woman suit made from actual women”.
He then entered the White House kitchen where he ate a baby with a side order of “a Cobb Salad containing raw puppy heads”.
“I’m not going to engage in the blame game. That baby was stupid for not running away and calling 911 for assistance,” said House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX). “And I’ve seen the president’s woman suit up close and I can tell you, it’s better than mine. Never-the-less, the kitchen staff should be held accountable for letting this happen on their turf.”
Bush Eats Baby, Republicans Defend President
